Forest Joke Lover Gifts

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

Deforestation.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"Hey! I know a howl of derision when I hear one!"

Fox hunting.

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

Spotted Owl Migration

'Was it the beaver dream again?'

'No matter where the deer are they will be able to hear this grunt.'

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

"Oh, I'll bet you just LOVED that, didn't you?"

Eyes on the Forest Floor

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"By all means, go ahead! At this point, it's just in the way!"

"You've been overdoing the tree hugging."

Do bears take drug tests in the woods?

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."