Forecast Follower Pillows

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

Here's the 5 day forecast. To be honest, after tomorrow, your guess is as good as mine!

Cold Weather: 'So nothing new?'

"It'll be one or all of these."

Chances of the weather.

'The weatherman said a foot of snow was going to fall today, but it would be concentrated in a very small area.'

"Yes, sir. Your beer is cloudy. But, there's a good chance it'll become clear later."

"I'd like to speak with the weatherman who predicted sunny skies for today!"

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

US election postal vote controversy

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"