Following Weather Pillows

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

'Why don't you go running after it?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Snow flake

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Can't Touch This

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Since you're skiing down to the store, we could use a whole lot more steaks."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'You don't need a weather forecast. Just read mother natures' signs carefully and you know that it will start raining soon.'

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

"We've had too much rain - they don't have enough - we'll sell our rain and make millions!"

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."