For Dummies Book Collector T-Shirts

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Rare Books

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

The Shrinking Dollar.

Sock Puppet in Literature

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Do it yourself books.

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)