Footie Aficionado Pillows

Mutant Mootunes - Police Football Manager

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

If nobody had invented graphics

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Football

Bears

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'