Footballer Wannabe Pillows

Chicken lays a football.

Football Fans

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

Children playing football.

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

Inaction Figure

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

A boy with a football

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

Football Skills

Big Football

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"We could start a band."

'It's a great country kid, anyone can grow up to be security to the president.'

Boy holding football.

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

'Put it down, it's the captain's log.'

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

Before and After Tattoos.

Midnight in Minnesota

'Where did we get this new goalie?'

'I'm wearing me treasure, rather than burying it!'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

STRIP *The Fan * "Let Garry McAllister be you inspiration."

'My Dad said I'll be an international goalkeeper when I grow up!'

This club is for members only

'What do you mean... You sent the rest of the uniform to the dry cleaners?'

"I could do that!"

"There's no increase in salary, but the position does come with a cape."

"This match is intense!"