Future Footballer Pillows

Children playing football.

Football Fans

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Exercising

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Future Wrestler

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

A boy with a football

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Football Skills

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Big Football

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

"The next time the baby kicks give him this."

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

"It's your turn, kid."

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

Boy holding football.

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

"I want to be a footballer's wife."

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'