Future Athlete Pillows

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

"No, you can't go sledding. It's too dangerous and besides, you have football practice."

Exercising

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Football Fans

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Portrait of a Lady"

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Yearbook

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Bullseye!

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Saving a Heart