Football Maniac Gifts

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Bowled over again!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

350 Feet.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Football

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Raheem Sterling

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Cricket Accidents.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'