Football Fans With A Twist Pillows

'If anybody else asks me if they can transfer to the England cricket team, they're fired!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Archaeologists discover a football

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Referee cop.

"Go deep!"

Football Violence

Red Card - Gold Card.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

Wake us up when the Olympics are over...

'That reminds me - your hospital appointment is next week.'