Football Fanatic With A Royal Spin Pillows

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Now that's an afro!'

If nobody had invented graphics

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

King George I

Football

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'