Football Fanatic With A Royal Spin Pillows

The spanish coronation

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Now that's an afro!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Raheem Sterling

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Football

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Kenny Dalglish

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'