Football And Faith Fan Pillows

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bears

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Raheem Sterling

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Football

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Kenny Dalglish

"Uptight End"

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."