Foodie With Back Pain Gifts

'Back pain? The beef stew is just laced with analgesics.'

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Dieting Motivation.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

"But we already had sex."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'If carrots are so good for night vision, why don't cats eat them?'

"This IS our diet pizza. As I told you, it's a hole pie."

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

RAP SCALLION, 'Don't call me no ONION, that ain't my name, I'm BETTA than an onion, but I got no FAME, put me on yo' SAN'wich, put me in yo' SOUP....'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

'Enlighten me!'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

'Of course, I love you, Debbie... but I'm too young to be tied down to one refrigerator!'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

80% of donuts enrolled in yoga classes never return after the first session. 'The first step is finding your inner self.'

'I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it's more of a wrap.'

'What's our offence? We've been on bread and water for 40 minutes.'

Demonstration at a bar

Another Bloody Cookery Show

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

'Let's see...we've taken you off smoking, drinking and rich food. What else do you enjoy?'