Foodie's Delight Pillows

'Which went bad first, the chicken salad or the egg salad?'

'Never mind the fresh food nurse - at my age I need all the preservatives I can get!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"I like my steak well done."

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Dessert

'Compliments to the chef from tables eight and nine, raves from bables twelve and fourteen, and proposals of marriage from tables seventeen, eighteen and nineteen.'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

No, sir, that entr

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

"Page 1 is 'Best-Sellers.' Page 2 is 'Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous,' and on the back is 'And Bear in Mind.' "

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

"You know we could have eaten the same food at home for less than a fourth of the cost...so I guess the sixty-two fifty was so you didn't have to wash the dishes!"

Trying on boots

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

"Soup?"

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

The Deli Counter

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

Conchiglie

'What's the 'catch of the day'?'