Foodie On A Schedule Gifts

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Dieting Motivation.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'The bad news is I left the presentation at home. The good news is we're having fresh waffles.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Garden City Restaurant: 'Workaholics businessmen's lunch - 24 hours every day.'

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

"It's a working lunch... we're lunching... you're working."

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

'Enlighten me!'

'I didn't feel like cooking today.'

Supermarket Aisles.

Dietitian: Weighting Room.

Wonder vend - Eat me, devour me, chew me...

'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

'I take it you're having the businessman's lunch.'

'You've got to help me, Doc -- My Diner's Club card is maxed out!'

'Uh... did you say you are on a lead diet?' 'Dude... it's all natural!'

"This place is fantastic. I understand it got four stars in some blog somewhere."

"Oh wait, we need to be on the 1-9 North bound escalator to get to the food court."

'Of course, I love you, Debbie... but I'm too young to be tied down to one refrigerator!'

Rescued, at last, from quinoa