Foodie On A Schedule Gifts

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Dieting Motivation.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'The bad news is I left the presentation at home. The good news is we're having fresh waffles.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

Garden City Restaurant: 'Workaholics businessmen's lunch - 24 hours every day.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"It's a working lunch... we're lunching... you're working."

'Enlighten me!'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

'I didn't feel like cooking today.'

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

Dietitian: Weighting Room.

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

Supermarket Aisles.

Wonder vend - Eat me, devour me, chew me...

'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

"Oh wait, we need to be on the 1-9 North bound escalator to get to the food court."

'You've got to help me, Doc -- My Diner's Club card is maxed out!'

'Of course, I love you, Debbie... but I'm too young to be tied down to one refrigerator!'

"This place is fantastic. I understand it got four stars in some blog somewhere."

'Uh... did you say you are on a lead diet?' 'Dude... it's all natural!'

Rescued, at last, from quinoa