Foodie Laughs Gifts

The pecking order stops here.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Filet minion

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Lockdown casserole

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

"My guess it's guacamole."

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."