Foodie-in-chief Gifts

Obama Snack...

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Domestic Goddess.

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

What the Doctor Ordered

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Fast food. Even faster food

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).