Foodie General Gifts

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

What the Doctor Ordered

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

La Table

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Fast food. Even faster food

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Rump roast?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Pigeon Little