Foodie Doctor Gifts

Surgeon

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What the Doctor Ordered

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

La Table

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Rump roast?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."