Foodie Doctor Gifts

Surgeon

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

What the Doctor Ordered

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

La Table

Fast food. Even faster food

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.