Foodie Funnybone Pillows

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercise. I don't thing he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'Sorry, we're looking for a short order cook.'

'He specializes in chicken dishes.'

Donut Eating Contest

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Snowprov

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

A Club Sandwitch.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'House wine?'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Fish in Water Cooler.

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

Boss, we got a UFO sighting...Unidentified Frying Object.'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street