Foodie Fiction Fan T-Shirts

"One B.L.T., one cherry pie, and one bowl of chili with crackers on the side!"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Benihana style of cooking.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Important Food Groups

Kitchen Kapers

"This is our soft opening."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

The Streets - Night

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'Hard to follow...'

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

Will work for Food Network.

Avocado Timeline

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"More croutons, sir?"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'