Foodie Fable Fan T-Shirts

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Important Food Groups

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Benihana style of cooking.

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Kitchen Kapers

"Eat my dust!"

"This is our soft opening."

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Burnt or Raw?

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Is the garbage fresh?"

Will work for Food Network.

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"More croutons, sir?"

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.