Foodie Feminist Gifts

"You're the chef? Well, my compliments anyway."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Beanirrito"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is it free-range?"

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'Hey, honey bun!'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Adam and Eve - Food scares

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

Stand back - while I whip something up

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

Fried Egg

What came first, the chicken or the egg