Foodie Cow Gifts

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You do like octopus?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Chase me, chase me cows.

Ice Cream Surgeon

'The circle is complete!'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'He made an excellent jelly.'