Foodie Cow Gifts

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Ice Cream Surgeon

Chase me, chase me cows.

What the Doctor Ordered

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"You do like octopus?"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'The circle is complete!'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.