Foodie Conductor Gifts

Musical Cook

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...

'The escargots are underdone.'

Bagel problems.

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'