Food Wordplay Fan Pillows

"Here's what I don't get – we don't even have fingers."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

Wok. Don't Wok.

Gay Times...

Vlad the Inhaler

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Nuts to you, too."

"It feels good to unwind..."

"Privates Beach"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

The Alpha Seltzer

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

Cat Burglar

Rap music

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

The americanisation of vulture.

AA Meeting Here Today

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Fishing for complements

Wiener Dog . . . Dog Wiener

Peel poker.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."