Clever Wordplay Fan Pillows

"You got something for sinuses? I've been dripping all night."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Punt Cake

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Please Drove Carefully.

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Nuts to you, too."

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Cat Burglar

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

The Alpha Seltzer

"Privates Beach"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."