Food Watcher Pillows

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Cat and mouse

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'The birdseed's okay. But I just like driving 'em crazy.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Scales

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Fat man on scales.