Food Watcher Gifts

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Cat and mouse

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'The birdseed's okay. But I just like driving 'em crazy.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Scales

Fat man on scales.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."