Food Warnings Gifts

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

The new normal

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Kitchen Kapers

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

HELLth Food Sprouts

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"The penicillin looks good."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)