Food Warnings Gifts

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Kitchen Kapers

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

The new normal

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Please don't kill me."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"The penicillin looks good."

"I'm going in."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'