Food Stats Junkie T-Shirts

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Important Food Groups

Kitchen Kapers

Benihana style of cooking.

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Burnt or Raw?

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

Will work for Food Network.

"Pie chart"

"More croutons, sir?"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

Looking tasty

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."