Food Diary Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Your lobster was off!

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'It's my favorite.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Is this still America?'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"