Food Stats Junkie Gifts

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Important Food Groups

Kitchen Kapers

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Benihana style of cooking.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

The Streets - Night

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

Will work for Food Network.

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

"Pie chart"

"More croutons, sir?"

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

Looking tasty

No, sir, that entr

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'