Food Magazine Junkie Gifts

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Counting ribs

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

What the Doctor Ordered

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You do like octopus?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

La Table

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Soup of the month.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"