Foodie Reader Gifts

Books in the 'Food Section' of a library have been half eaten.

Eddy and his diet group didn't need recipes to lose weight. They got filled up by just reading about the food chemistry.

How to eat while reading.

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Ice Cream Surgeon

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"You do like octopus?"

What the Doctor Ordered

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

The Fourth Little Pig

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

La Table

Fast food. Even faster food

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Do you have any catsup?'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"