Foodie Reader Gifts

Books in the 'Food Section' of a library have been half eaten.

Eddy and his diet group didn't need recipes to lose weight. They got filled up by just reading about the food chemistry.

How to eat while reading.

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"You do like octopus?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

The Fourth Little Pig

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Do you have any catsup?'

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Bad for you but to die for

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."