Food Portion Fanatic T-Shirts

Diet dishes.

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Benihana style of cooking.

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Kitchen Kapers

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Important Food Groups

The Streets - Night

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

All-Day Breakfast

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

Will work for Food Network.

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

The Nihilist Deli.

Attack of the 'health' foods

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"More croutons, sir?"

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'