Food Simplicity Lover Gifts

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

Soup of the month.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

All Natural Nothing

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

A man and baby wearing bibs

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

"George often brings his work home with him."

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'