Food Sculptor T-Shirts

"My mom really works at keeping my lunches interesting!"

Come dine with me!

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

"It's Chicken Mole!"

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

Shaved Ice

Mouse with a cat cake.

Culinary surgery.

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Funky Chef 2

Picasso

TV's hot new political show: Meet the Produce. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. Let's be frank. The Republicans have no fiscal discipline. And the tax-and-spend liberals do? We're not ballooning the deficit! Waging war to promote freedom is not free! You stupid rotten vegetable! You're low in vitamin E! Cut to commercial.

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

"The pink ones are sashimi, and I believe the little yellow ones just fell off the Pollock."

The Salvador Deli

'Quit playing with it.'

Abundance of Caution

Artist and chiken

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Adam and Eve and Scott

Almost Everything Bagel

You still working on that?

"And over here we have a painting called 'Tuna Melt with Pickles' or 'The Persistence of Appetite'."

'... and here's your Manhattan clam chowder, Sir.'

Funky Chef 1

"I love the splatter effect you got with the green. What brush did you use?"

Do you do portraits as well?

The Sausage world's version of a Crematorium using a Barbecue to Cremate