Food Quality Pillows

'Grade A Eggs On A Curve.'

no offence, but I just can't buy food with a shelf life longer than my life expectancy.

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

"I've given up on trying to improve the quality of my milk: It just ends up mixed with milk from other cows in a big vat..."

"Is this menu recycled?"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Counting ribs

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Any time is cake o'clock

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"States of tofu"

Ice Cream Surgeon

What the Doctor Ordered

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

You're the puff in my pastry!

Soup of the month.

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"It's how he would have wanted to go."