Food Personality Explorer T-Shirts

"You're too kneady."

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

6 Brothers Falafel

"You owe me five bucks."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Your lobster was off!

See you at the farmers market!

Before/After

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Is this still America?'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Tzatzikicicle