Food Orders T-Shirts

'This guy just ordered pizza with everything -- now's our chance to get rid of those pig snouts!'

LAY ZEE FUK

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Rump roast?"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Food deliverer's baby.

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"It's probably just seasonal."

'How is the water prepared?'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

French Early Bird

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"Make me one with everything!"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Sisyphus Pizza

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'