Food Order Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Phone Services - Desperate Selling to Small Businesses'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Life is for the birds.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

'How is the water prepared?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"Your meal sounded nice."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.

Thermidor Dali

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'