Food Laughter Pillows

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"States of tofu"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Lockdown casserole

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"My guess it's guacamole."

Better Not Squash.

Deliboys

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

Murderous Chef

Stay at home food pyramid

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'