Food Label Analyst Pillows

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

Now With Organic Artifical Additives

"Dealing with a poorly informed public over GM crops is a nightmare...."

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

Lack of Nutrition Information

GM Food and World Hunger

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

All Organic Pork: "Naturally smoked bacon my ass."

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

Young Professional Recipe Test

"This paleo diet is a lot of work. Maybe we should eat grains."

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"

'This looks good. The first ingredient is calories.'

"... stearic acid, amylase, sodium stearoyl lactylate and — hold on. What in the world is C-I-L-A-N-T-R-O?"

'This chicken was raised on a farm, ate corn and never consumed drugs. That's more than I knew about you when we dated.'

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

'I removed the sugar, artificial flavors, coloring, preservatives, and additives. Now the eight ounce box weighs four ounces.'

'I knew there was a catch! Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight serviings.'

'I just read the food label. That's why I decided to eat the package instead.'

'Caution: this tomato soup combines with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas.'

"Some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but some of the other additives cure it."

"And this new product has absolutely no added preservatives...at least I didn't add any!"

Breakfast of champions

Trans Fat Free Cookies - Trans fat has killed people. Are you one of them?

'One day son, all this will be Monsanto's'