Food Ingredient Analyst Pillows

Breakfast of champions

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

All Natural Nothing

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"They’re real."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

The Inexperienced Cook

'Diet considerations.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Population train.

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Secret Family Recipes

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

Monsanto - "Bad news, the tomato gene has jumped species"

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

Lack of Nutrition Information

GM Food and World Hunger