Food Analyzer Pillows

Lack of Nutrition Information

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

'Why on Earth would you ask if this turkey is genetically modified?'

'What did you find in your soup?'

Food Uncertainty

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

'The food inspector, Sir!'

'I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption...'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

The food inspector

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

Continue eating. Pay no attention to me. I'm from the food and drug administration.

"I fear this place is going downhill."

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'

"Ah, here you are... I see you made the mistake of tasting your own cooking."

'He was using eggplant - another tragic case of apple pie fraud.'