Food Finder Gifts

"You have arrived at your destination."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Fishing sign.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'Throw me back and I'll tell you where a 12-pounder is hiding.'

Fishing direction sign.

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

Cheese Pile

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

GM Crops Genie.

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

Horse meat scandal.

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

To diet or not...?

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

Mixed marriage: food fight

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

"Remind me - superfood or carcinogen?"

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'