Food Fiesta Lover T-Shirts

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Important Food Groups

Kitchen Kapers

Benihana style of cooking.

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Streets - Night

Church Basement Foodie

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Burnt or Raw?

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'Men's cooking'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"More croutons, sir?"

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.