Food Fiesta Lover T-Shirts

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Important Food Groups

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Benihana style of cooking.

Kitchen Kapers

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Streets - Night

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Church Basement Foodie

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Men's cooking'

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"More croutons, sir?"

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.