Food Editor Gifts

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Reading my Critics

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

6 Brothers Falafel

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"