Editor Gifts

"We believe that in a former life she was an editor."

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

"I wish you would make up your mind, Mr. Dickens. Was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could scarcely have been both."

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

Writer with punctuation spray.

Caution: Perfectionists at Work Next 1/4 Mile.

Gramma Police: 'Will work four food.'

"I translate books from English into better English."

Corrective Lens

Collected works

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"We saved your life. However, your colon is now a semicolon"

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

Private Eye Editor Ian Hislop

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

"Cower before me, earthlings! Your bombs have failed, we have killed many of you, less of you remain to fight..."

"It's plotted out. I just have to write it."

"What can I say? I was an English major."

The First Writer and Editor: 'Take out that part?! Are you nuts? How is the stampede scene at the end of the cave going to make sense without it?!'

'Who.' 'Who.' 'Who.' 'Or is it whom?'

Grammarian.

'It was a last-minute change, but a good one.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

'Okay, you can have freedom of speech, but watch your language!'

'I can't believe I went out with an apostrophe. He was so possessive.'

"Writing is... rewriting."

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

"I have a lot of really good ideas, but I just can't get them down on paper."

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Sylvia helped Robert to edit one of his memos.

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'